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911uk

Goddam birds!!! Help!

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8 captured repliesDiscussion pagination complete · Source accounts, not a confirmed diagnosis
THIS DISCUSSION / SOURCE-DERIVED OVERVIEW

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YOUR RESEARCHGoddam birds!!! Help!

Leading reported evidence

Clean whole lot off quickly and was lucky

Performed · outcome unconfirmed

No successful repair reported for this finding.

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Unsuccessful attempts
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Explicit resolution reports before identified causes, performed actions and suggestions. Within each level, matching component labels precede direct query mentions and inherited thread context; successful versus unsuccessful discussion counts, owner confirmations and independent discussion support determine order. This is not a probability of success.

Discussions that performed work without a confirmed outcome
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0 original-poster resolution reports. Counts can overlap; they are not unique people or a success rate.

0 discussions have direct query context; 0 report a fix in that context. Other evidence may inherit the discussion’s subject.

Performed · outcome unconfirmed

On Saturday morning, there were over 20 bird craps on my car (my drive is right in the middle of the flight path between 2 houses) so I cleaned the whole lot off quickly and was lucky to get away with no problems.

Goddam birds!!! Help!
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Leading evidence: 'Clean whole lot off quickly and was lucky' (no explicit attributable resolution; this is a reported action or suggestion). Across 1 matching discussions, The most frequently discussed action is 'Clean whole lot off quickly and was lucky' (1 discussions). For that action, 0 discussions report a resolution and 0 report an unsuccessful attempt. No action has an explicit, attributable resolution report under the current rules. These are forum reports and suggestions, not a confirmed diagnosis.

Source reports, not a diagnosis or a success probability. Counts refer to discussions and can overlap.

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1 matching discussions · 8 captured posts examined · 0 partial discussions

Compare 2 other evidence results

Use collinite

Performed · outcome unconfirmed

No successful repair reported for this finding.

0
Reported fixes
0
Unsuccessful attempts
1
Discussions
Read evidence and context

Explicit resolution reports before identified causes, performed actions and suggestions. Within each level, matching component labels precede direct query mentions and inherited thread context; successful versus unsuccessful discussion counts, owner confirmations and independent discussion support determine order. This is not a probability of success.

Discussions that performed work without a confirmed outcome
1

0 original-poster resolution reports. Counts can overlap; they are not unique people or a success rate.

0 discussions have direct query context; 0 report a fix in that context. Other evidence may inherit the discussion’s subject.

Performed · outcome unconfirmed

I use Collinite on my car and it seems to give fairly good protection.

Goddam birds!!! Help!

Run risk of burning through the clearcoat doing it yourself

Suggestion or failed attempt

No successful repair reported for this finding.

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Reported fixes
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Unsuccessful attempts
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Discussions
Read evidence and context

Explicit resolution reports before identified causes, performed actions and suggestions. Within each level, matching component labels precede direct query mentions and inherited thread context; successful versus unsuccessful discussion counts, owner confirmations and independent discussion support determine order. This is not a probability of success.

Discussions that contain suggestions
1

0 original-poster resolution reports. Counts can overlap; they are not unique people or a success rate.

0 discussions have direct query context; 0 report a fix in that context. Other evidence may inherit the discussion’s subject.

Suggestion

Dont panic it can be sorted, i would give a local detailer a call it wont cost much and you'll get it sorted without running the risk of burning through the clearcoat doing it yourself.

Goddam birds!!! Help!
Frequently discussed actions (3)

These are separate views of the same evidence. Frequency alone does not establish a fix, and these counts must not be added together.

Clean whole lot off quickly and was lucky

No successful repair reported for this finding.

0
Reported fixes
0
Unsuccessful attempts
1
Discussions
Read evidence and context
Discussions that performed work without a confirmed outcome
1

0 original-poster resolution reports. Counts can overlap; they are not unique people or a success rate.

0 discussions have direct query context; 0 report a fix in that context. Other evidence may inherit the discussion’s subject.

Performed · outcome unconfirmed

On Saturday morning, there were over 20 bird craps on my car (my drive is right in the middle of the flight path between 2 houses) so I cleaned the whole lot off quickly and was lucky to get away with no problems.

Goddam birds!!! Help!

Run risk of burning through the clearcoat doing it yourself

No successful repair reported for this finding.

0
Reported fixes
0
Unsuccessful attempts
1
Discussions
Read evidence and context
Discussions that contain suggestions
1

0 original-poster resolution reports. Counts can overlap; they are not unique people or a success rate.

0 discussions have direct query context; 0 report a fix in that context. Other evidence may inherit the discussion’s subject.

Suggestion

Dont panic it can be sorted, i would give a local detailer a call it wont cost much and you'll get it sorted without running the risk of burning through the clearcoat doing it yourself.

Goddam birds!!! Help!

Use collinite

No successful repair reported for this finding.

0
Reported fixes
0
Unsuccessful attempts
1
Discussions
Read evidence and context
Discussions that performed work without a confirmed outcome
1

0 original-poster resolution reports. Counts can overlap; they are not unique people or a success rate.

0 discussions have direct query context; 0 report a fix in that context. Other evidence may inherit the discussion’s subject.

Performed · outcome unconfirmed

I use Collinite on my car and it seems to give fairly good protection.

Goddam birds!!! Help!
Coverage and how to read this overview

Counts describe captured discussions, not unique people or a diagnosis. Author identities are not reliably stored. Exact duplicate evidence is counted once across matching discussions; one discussion counts at most once per action/state. Multiple repairs reported together remain a combination. Suggestions and failed attempts do not establish a fix. Matches cover whole discussions and can include related faults, model variants and incomplete threads.

8 eligible posts · 0 unverified posts · 1 discussions match the subject in their title or opening post.

  • 911uk: 1 discussions

0 evidence records excluded for query context · 0 excluded by outcome qualification · 0 adjusted by outcome qualification.

2 acknowledgements have no verified action link; they do not establish a repair result.

Outcome without a verified action link

Then I tried polishing it (I know I know you can't polish a turd!) but that has made no difference at all.

No unique explicit quoted action; no causal link assigned

Generation: 20261026T124918Z · outcome-qualification-6. Deterministic extraction; no AI model inference. How we use sources

POST 1 / ORIGINAL POSTEROriginal post

Dear all On Friday afternoon whilst in Tesco car park a bird did great big dump on my bonnet, its was raining pretty heavily so I though "***** it I am cleaning it in the morning, what harm can it do?" WRONG!!! :sad: Not 18 hours later there I was outside cleaning the car, got the crap off it and began polishing in readiness for Dads Day Out at Dunsfold yesterday. Anyway the crap has left a nice mark in the bonnet to the EXACT shape, even the splash!! What was that bird eating??!! On a serious note I have dull patch where it was on can't shift it, I cleaned it off VERY gently, tried T cutting it - nothing. Then I tried polishing it (I know I know you can't polish a turd!) but that has made no difference at all. Can anyone suggest something to sort it out short of respraying the bonnet? :dont know: I have left bird sh!t on cars for a few days before and its made no difference at all, either the lacquer is not much good on mine or that bird has been eating some dodgy curry earlier in the day! Cheers Ben

POST 2Original post

Had the same problem last year. pigeon poo like acid. still got the mark on the paint now. nothing you can do Ben its just tough sh!t

POST 3Original post

Sorry to hear about your woes. Usually once the paint is etched, there is little you can do. However, I was looking at the 997 forum and someone there had the same problem but tried the BiltHamber stuff you see advertised in classic car mags and had good results. Probably no harm giving it a try. I use Collinite on my car and it seems to give fairly good protection. On Saturday morning, there were over 20 bird craps on my car (my drive is right in the middle of the flight path between 2 houses) so I cleaned the whole lot off quickly and was lucky to get away with no problems. I'm sure most waxes would be fine.

POST 4Original post

I had the same problem myself a couple of years ago. Since then I make sure I carry suitable stuff in the car to remove the offending crap the moment I see it on my car.

POST 5Original post

Guys...you have just won my award for the funniest post on here... not sure if you are all in cahoots... you have made my day... thank you so much :floor:

POST 7Original post

Bird etching is a really problem if your car has no protection on it, it should polish out but the off the shelf polishes you mention will probably not touch it. Its a job that a detailer could do for you, you cant really recommend a polish as the job needs proper assesment and could take trial and error with a variety of different products, in some bird etching cases wet sanding and then polishing is required. Dont panic it can be sorted, i would give a local detailer a call it wont cost much and you'll get it sorted without running the risk of burning through the clearcoat doing it yourself. checkout detailing world website to find someone local to yourself .

POST 8 / ORIGINAL POSTEROriginal post

Excrement!! Thanks very much, i will find one and give them a call!

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