911 & Porsche world Focus on RS (April issue) - Page 2 - Porsche General - PistonHeads UK

Be careful young lizard, moderators' eyes are watching every twitch of your tail

Didn't know you had a taste for Ford's RS Focus??

LOL, well spotted Mr Scott. There was me thinking the lizard was talking about Porsche RSs

Not a bad picture of my RS (page 61), just ignore the owner blocking the view!

No doubt interspersed with articles explaining how to re-loom your 924 with gaffer tape type connectors and mains lead bought in bulk from B & Q Mind you, half the editorial own ahem, "classic" Porsches, so little wonder. EDIT: this is fast becoming my favorite part of PH - much more interesting than inanely boring threads on General Gassing. >> Edited by GregE240 on Tuesday 25th March 13:50

True, Greg. The General Gassing forum seems to have been taken over by the British National Party about three months ago, and the Ferrari forum is constant back-slapping and high fives over their latest Tubi purchases.

Whereas we just take the piss out of iguana and ask 9M about tuning our Porsche toasters PS Do you think 9M could get my Siemens Porsche kettle to boil faster? It does full capacity in 1m32 seconds, but I reckon if I Motec it I could get it down to sub-1 min

What you want is a kettle turbo - takes the steam coming off the water and recycles it into a small engine which provides more voltage to the heating element.

LOL Dom Nah, GS is full of a certain persons boastings, backed up by a load of brainwashed followers. Midly amusing at first, but now sends me to Couldn't care less, to be honest.

...and we've got the mightily mental Derestrictor on our side... hurrah and double hurrah ... those GS chaps don't have anyone quite as prosaic or half as Like the Porsche Kettle Turbo idea, Peter Also, has everyone else been as unimaginative as me and got their Porsche kettle and toaster in Polar silver? I've heard Don is pestering Siemens for a Guard's Red special order, with dark chrome wheatsheaf stencil motif...

Thank God someone else thinks that about the GS section. I get very bad vibes coming from several of the posts on there, flying close to be dodgy at times. Some stuff is interesting but the political moaning is just plain dull and repetitive. I only check it for smut now and then... ahem ahem. Kettles - but will they offer a badger-bar upgrade ?

Badger bars are only needed on the toaster.

As the lizard has mentioned in the past badgers keep well clear of domster

Possibly the most off-topic comment of all time but just looked at your profile Greg, just wondering why you called yourself GregE240 rather then GregBoxter or something, anyway good days everyone!

Hey, do not take the 9m name in vain, we can tune anything. Our Toaster +1 package starts with a recoat of the main electrodes with a high radiation emissivity ceramic substrate and a re-line the inner surfaces with the catering equivalent of "turbo wrap" to maintain the enclosure heat levels. The +2 version sees the addition of parabolic reflectors behind the electrodes to soft focus the heat over an even surface area of the bread, although obviously this entails an external adjustment mechanism to preset for your specified bread thickness to ensure a perfect focal length. For this package the toaster has to be diner tuned at our premises. If you can put up with a slightly reduced lifespan of the elements, the 9m +3 upgrade utilises a step-up transformer on the line-in, proven to improve static heat response with increased input voltage, although this method has to be carefully regulated as the power capacity of the standard electrode is very close to its design limits. For the dogs bo**ocks job the +4 kit has a reprogrammed digital square wave rectifier (rds~r) that maintains constant wire temperatures for maximum heat dissipation. To date we have only built a prototype to this level, but we could bring it to production if there is enough interest. See, it's this level of committment that you won't find at Autoharm, Dom.

But will it do crumpets *and* Nimble?

Well, the Boxster is my wifes car actually. The fat mans car is mine. I get to polish it and drive it occasionally though, which is nice.

Ninemeister, nice one Hoever your comments about Autofarm are a bit out of order. I have just ordered one of their "AF Retros" - incorporates all the technology you mention in a classic, fully renovated and restored 1947 vintage Duralit body - all the benefits of a modern appliance with the looks of a classic - they told me it'd be a gold plated investment and it's only 50% more expensive than a genuine original 1947 Duralit too!

Ruby best you check ruby that your new toaster doesnt share the same chassis number as another toaster currently happy making toast elsewere... its a common problem in toasters nowdays, especially when thy are reaching over £20 unrestored

LOL everyone Funniest and most off topic thread we've had here for ages I'll start saving for the old +4 package from 9M

Ah, the classic air cooled Duralit. Built like a brick outhouse and sure to be still running when all the modern gear is propping up a breakers yard pile of unwanteds. Some schools of thought say its a mite sacriligeous to do this kind of thing, but it sure produces a wolf in sheeps clothing - the quintessential "Q-Toaster"

I have heard the Dage Sport are making a comeback - they believe that by flatfronting the toaster they can shave milliseconds off the toasting time and woo back the GJOBers from their Skylines. Gemballa are planning a twin deck, eight slice version that can also toast Weiners as well as playing Deutsche Uber Alles

Giggleworthy in extremis!

Greg, There is NO WAY that AH can be using the same technology in their retro toasters, our packages have been subject to a University research project for the last two years, we have all the diner plots available to prove our claims and have exclusive rights over the substrate material. The moral of the story is don't believe everything you hear from Oxon, somebody somewhere is making it all up.

Guys, Duralit is something you polish chrome with. I'm assuming you mean Dualit toasters here?

That's Duraglit, with a g in it. Lousy spelling all round, but you're right about the toaster

Good spot - I've got a Duraglit toaster as well....tastes lousy though - like there's some chemical enhancement.

So if I'm using Duraglit to clean my Dualit what do I do with Duralit??

Wait a minute - aren't Porsche themselves bringing out a new family size toaster ? It's got a V8 water cooled toasting bay (eight slices at once in a 45 degree 'V', water cooling of the nice alloy facia). It also has an optional computer controlled 'toast stability' unit which helps during cornering (when the corners get extra burned). It's a lot heavier than the 2plus2 slice current option but with a great big V8 toasting bay it'll still get a light brown finish in under a minute ! It will also eat lots more electricity and goes through elements much faster. So forget all these so called 'toaster-tuning' options from the likes of 9M & AH etc and go for the real thing from Prosche. Family sized toast portions at the same speed as the 2plus2 slicers we all know and love.

Send it to AH for restoration, it's a rare post production model and worth a small fortune if correctly restored, I'm sure they can correct the minor letter abberations and then find a suitable buyer.

I know not all like it but this month its certainly worth buying for the RS focus ('73,964,993). Best copy of 911& P/W in a long long while, even if it does seen to be an entire mag devoted to Autofarce, opps I mean Autofarm just a slip of the tongue