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YOUR RESEARCHI'm so nervous - How do I ask my better 2/3?
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arrive a couple months later
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I guess my wife was wondering why I needed a $200k car "to make me happy" when my $450k Carrera GT was due to arrive a couple months later.
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Suggestion
You losers that seperate out checking accounts, give a stipend, etc.
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Suggestion
stop being whipped and do what you want ..does she check with you when she buys stuff..pathetic.
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Suggestion
Had been talking about replacing the M3 for a long time.
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Suggestion · Original poster
I test drove a 996 cab 99 with under 50k miles this week.
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I test drove a 996 cab 99 with under 50k miles this week. What a mistake! Now I'm going CRAZY for another Porsche. To make matters worse a friend and my brother stopped at my house with his 'new' 993.
Please make it stop.
So the cab was offered at 35 and change. I'd need to sell my M3 I just bought less than 1 year ago. I should shut up and drive the BMW but I've got Porsche on the brain bad!
Mine made me promise to prematurely get her a new car, and diamonds, and now she's asking for diamonds again. You can't win anyway, so why not just do it! You might as well have some fun!
You won't believe this one...
I was on the fence about a P-car, not wanting to spend the money. Had been talking about replacing the M3 for a long time. Wife kept saying "just do it", but I couldn't pull the trigger.
I was out playing my guitar one night, and when I got home at 1:30 AM, there were pix of Porsches pasted all over my mirror in the bathroom. Next day, went and bought the 996.
I did get her the diamonds, after the fact. How could I not?
Asking is where I got into trouble. I had to come up with a "business case" -- not kidding, that involved evaluating alternatives, why we could keep our old Volvo station wagon and also have the 911, etc. Best thing I ever did is take kids to dealership and for a spin -- they sold it for me.
I agree with Led: don't ask just do.
The nagging/yelling will last for a few minutes, but the enjoyment of the Cab will last a long, long time.
WARNING: the amount of yelling (and volume) varies from woman to woman so YMMV
Key part of my strategy was achieved in advance of "going for it." For our anniversary the prior year I surprised her with a Lexus LS 430 (she was driving a 5 year old LS400 -- this is her idea of a dream car). So I had some mileage coming out of that...
mundman. I did that already. I bought my 993 without even a sniff of warning.
Sunday - Saw a local EBay auction.
Monday - PPId then slept in a cold sweat
Tuesday - Towel'd off and bought home car
Needless to say I don't want to do that again.
Def do a pre-emptive strike, get her a new car, send her to a spa in Palm Beach(I've done both, new suv prior to 911, PB prior to PDE) then just do it! she'll bitch and nag for a while, wtf they'll do that anyways.
stop being whipped and do what you want ..does she check with you when she buys stuff..pathetic. i have to go call my wife and tell her how great she is for not being a controlling manipulative person. enjoy your wife
this is an entertaining thread. it may make single guys think twice about getting married.
i want all the singles out there YMMV. If i have to buy her gems everytime i make a big purchase, i woud've gone broke long time ago :-)
Hey guys,
You may all be missing a very important point in this discussion:
The girls love driving around in a 911 almost as much as we do! They're less likely to admit it, but it's true (seen it with my own eyes).
There are many psychological factors at work here (eg. "my man is rich enough to drive a Porsche", or "I'm a bad girl 'cause I love to go fast", or "aren't I the classy one?", etc) that you should not discount.
Trust me on this.
I'd like to hear your impressions.
Marc
Montreal has it right -
After I brought it home I told her to pick out her favorite CDs (ok, I had to compromise here) and we tooled around in the car for afew hours - stopped for cappucino, etc - she was so thrilled about being "seen" in the car even I was surprised. Afterwards she told me what a great idea it was to get the 996 instead of the BMW 5 series. I have to listen to chic music but its a small sacrifice.
why not go one step further and drop her on the corner and cruise by in the porsche, roll down your window and ask " how much?"
hahhahaahhaahahahah...actually she would probably like that too
single guys should rent the movie about schmidt..many parts will make you think twice about who you marry..especially the part where his wife makes him **** sitting down for 30 years.( he later finds out she was banging his best freind) after she dies he not only pisses standing up he pisses all over the floor and the toilet. talk about built up resentment!
I don't know about anyone else but I sure don't want my diamond joke suggestion to give you single guys the wrong impression. My wife has never given me any crap about any of the truly stupid car purchases I've made. However, I could tell that buying the Stradale just a couple months before the CGT was due to arrive was pissing her off a bit (as it probably should). Sure I could have just ignored it and she would have gotten over it - kinda. But instead, I wanted her to be ok with it (because that's how you stay happily married) so turned the second car into a 10 yr anniversary present for me and had her pick what she wanted for the same. Trust me, diamonds are A LOT cheaper than an unhappy marriage full of resentments or eventually half your stuff
And to the single guys, there's nothing better than a good wife (and nothing worse than a bad one)!
why should buying anything **** off your wife or husband unless its not your money, you are unable to afford it or its causing financial problems for you. if you have the money and want 10 stradales why should she care?? im utterly confused as to why it should even factor into the relationship? and then people are suggesting bribes of cars or diamonds?? talk about passive agressive manipulation..jesus
I wasn't going to but I feel compelled to reply.
A wife can say to you (with some accuracy): What's yours is mine and whats mine is my own. In CA after some guys have been halved (half of all assets) a few times, they come to that conclusion.
It sounds like your not married, be wary JLJ.......
Your outlook is refreshing...
Sorry, but I have to chime in for us happily married gents.
JLJ just doesn't seem to get it. When you are married it is not YOUR money. It is pooled money even if you are the only income earner. You make decision TOGETHER. If you have to say it is YOUR money since you make a buttload and she makes nothing then you have nothing short of a hooker for a wife then--somebody who sleeps with you for money and is told where she stands and that she should be glad she has what she is given. Why even get married if that is the attitude you want to take?
You losers that seperate out checking accounts, give a stipend, etc. are doomed for the 1/2 route in a divorce court. Ironic isn't it that you end up sharing right down the middle one way or another? The rest of us buy diamonds and roses and live happy with somebody who feels appreciated. Trust me, it is not the diaminds she wants, its the thought and the fact that you actual notice her as apposed to parade her around like a gold digging trophy wife. A nice dozen roses or a little something in a blue box will do just fine every now and then. Just my $.02
FYI...it was my wifes idea to get the 911 not mine knowing that I always wanted one. I never had to ask, she just knew.
i am married. and maybe your wife can say that legally but why would she say it? thats the point. only reason is to be controllin gor manipulative if there arent financial issues
Exactly. Guys who walk around thinking they swing a big *%# in their house are doomed to have a cheating, unhappy, and/or ex spouse. Marriage is a partnership of equals and anyone who treats it differently WILL fail eventually. Trust me, women who put up with chauvenist, macho types deserve half - plus. I can't phathom the thought of my daughter growing up and spending her life being made to feel like an employee to her husband. She sure won't learn that from us!
PS. Plan on getting well under half after attornies for both sides get theirs.
yeahhhhh....if you have the money and you share it with her and you cover all your obligations and so does she its not eithers right to stop you from buying anything. and bribing your wife with diamonds and roses is treating her like a hooker if thats what you need to do when you want something.
im sorry saying that one makes all the money so its both persons money is fine. one controlling the others purchases strictly because they feel like it and then needing to be paid off to accept that purchase is insane. i handle my obligations and buy what i want and my wife doesnt worry either way. and i dont have to bribe her. having said that she is a jeweller and a goldsmith and i financed her jewellery store so maybe i got her the ultimate diamond!
you guys arent listening. i dont tell her what to do or buy and she does the same. its not a marriage based on bribing her so i can buy something. its mutual respect and not manipulation or bribery.
About time you came clean......
There are no lessons for a sucessful relationships, whatever works for you both...
Jeeze this pot is starting to boil....
you said she was pissed you bought a stradale. if you arent causing a financial problem by buying it what right does she have to be pissed? if it makes you happy shouldnt she be happy? i dont understand, i want my wife to be happy, she wants me to be happy..i couldnt imagine her pissed i got something i wanted. sounds controlling and manipulative to me...enlighten me on what reason she could possibly have to be " pissed "
JLJ...you must be a lawyer. You have totally twisted around what you said as well as what others have said. I think it is time to put this to rest before the pot boils over. Nobody is offended or pissed (yet).
One question though, where in the hell is canuckistan? Vancouver?
im not a lawyer. its logic only, let your wife do what she wants and she should let you do the same as long as you arent hurting the other. buying a car when you can afford it doesnt hurt anyone.. canuckistan=canada
I guess my wife was wondering why I needed a $200k car "to make me happy" when my $450k Carrera GT was due to arrive a couple months later. Obviously we can afford it since they're both in my garage but I don't blame her for thinking it silly (I even thought it was silly). Cars are a guy thing completely uncomprehendable by girls like jewelry is a girl thing completely uncomprehendable by guys. As a result, either of us could go out and buy reasonably priced uncomprehendables without consulting the other, but unreasonably priced ones call for at least psuedo discussion. That you could come home with $650k in cars or her $650k in jewelry without any discussion means you guys must have a lot more dough than we do.
