OMFG! WTF?

So I come out of the mall last night and find this: I wait around for a few minutes and go find security to see if they can page this **** who can't park. They can't page people but are shocked, as is EVERYONE who walks by. Finally, as I'm about to call a tow truck, this completely oblivious guy comes out of the mall, walking toward the minivan. And suddenly, it is all clear to me. He weighs about 350 pounds. He parked like this because it was the only way he could leave enough room for him to get in and out of his van. So I got a "sorry" before he nearly T-boned a pickup truck backing out. Fortunately, no scratches on the car.

Ouch! Was your only option to park in the "regular" spaces? I'm not sure you'd ever be able to get a picture of my P-car in a public parking lot with another car near it. It's worth the walk to not come out to find something like this.

My theory is that I'm more likely to be keyed by people "teaching me a lesson" if I park far away. So I just try to find a comfy space in the normal part of the lot.

I always park in the middle of two slots =)

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Wow: My biggest fear when I take the 996 out. If I go to a Mall or anything I am the one way out there in the middle of nowhere. I do get concerned that some some smartas will come along and key me. But I have to say I never really take the 996 out to a place where I cannot kep a close eye on her. Freaks me out and I really do not enjoy a trip to the Mall or even restruants. I'm sure Therapy can help me - Ha! Not! 99C2

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I think there are far more people out there whose lack of attention can produce door dings than those who hate enough to key cars/damage one's personal property. Glad you escaped undamaged.

I wouldn't have gotten all flustered about it and waited around. Sure the guy is a jerk, but you could have simply gotton in the passenger side and driven away and moved on with your life.

I saw someone open their car door so hard yesterday that it hit the car next to it and set the alarm off. What is it with these people? Glad your car was ok.

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Yup...sometimes it is not worth it getting into an altercation or simply wasting 5 minutes of your life...hell, 5 minutes or even 10 can go a long way...LOL!!

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Have you actually tried to do this before? Maybe crawling thru the sun roof would be easier

Agree - doesn't sound like this guy was looking to do any damage. That's why I tend to park any of my cars "in the next county" as my wife would say. I posted last year about a guy who purposely put his pickup about 6" from my 4S while I was parked at a Starbucks. He got really pissy when I even questioned him about it and seemed ready to fight - I'm little, so he would have killed me. Fortunately, no damage to the P-car. There are just so many jerks out there.

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Except I was boxed in. I could not have backed out if I wanted to. His van was so long and the angle so steep that I was pinned in. Don't blame the victim.

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Another thing to observe is the incline of the parking lot if it is one that has shopping carts. I stopped at a Home Depot for a quick 5 minutes and parked at the empty end of the lot only to find a cart rammed into my driver's door. It had rolled down hill. (It wasn't a P car but it was a new '99 M Roadster.) Now I won't stop a a mall with the P Car unless I can find a non parallel parking area that is UPHILL. I actually plan what vehicle to take based on whether or not I have to stop at a store. I know it's crazy but it makes me feel better.

Perhaps letting the air out of his drivers side tires would have make the mini-van "lean" enough to allow you to back out.

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I've parked "in the next county" for years now, and the only way I could see someone key it is if I was taking up more than one space, which I would never do. Actually, I'll be even slightly more "honest"--my parking methodology is almost perfectly described on this site. It wasn't me that wrote it, but I can't argue with what they say! www.parkingbydesign.com

I parked in a public lot, where there was some construction going on. The construction was shutdown for the weekend, and there wasn't any debris in the area. They had construction barriers made of "saw horses", and I chose a nice spot-and-a-half next to one of these barriers, thinking I would allow myself extra room without the risk of pissing anyone off. I came back from lunch to find the saw horse sitting on my car. Apparently someone clipped it and drug it along, up onto my rear quarter. The damage was minimal, and has since been completely repaired with some other work I had done. But it just goes to show you can't always avoid the idiots. (Unless you avoid parking in public places altogether.)

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LOL!! That's funny, the exact same thing happened to me. I watched him as I ate at a local pizza jont. The guy was at least 350lbs and 6'7". He left before I finished eating so it was no big deal.

I don't have faith in people in general. I don't park my car anywhere. I have a daily driver for mall trips and other errants. They can ding the **** out of my 2007 GMC Sierra, its just a POS truck. Funny though, the truck has no dings. People go out of there way to be asses to Porsches.

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That is very risky in areas where parking is scarce. Your paint is at a much higher risk of getting pinstripe courtesy of a key.

Fat people are so insensitive.

wow...that's pretty close. i'm thinking i could have negotiated the car right outta that spot. lil back and forth....the mirrors are a wonderful tool. when i pull into my garage each day....i just barely hit the mirror on my side...which leaves about an inch or two for the rear to fit thru (widebody here). Gotta use the mirrors when i back out, but even an inch seems like plenty sometimes as long as you can see the gap rather than guessing it by peering over your shoulder. Very rare for me to park in a regular spot....i don't mind the extra walking. 9 months with my daily driver...not one ding on it....knocking on wood as i type this.... j

that's hilarious. some people just have no respect. that guy sounds like he should have a handicap placard, it's better for everyone that way. i had an idiot bang the drivers door of his bucket right into my old 993 while i was sitting in the car and he chipped my freaking paint. when i got out and confronted him a second after it happened, he denied it like i was crazy. oh well.... what can you do? file an insurance claim for a paint chip? having the whole panel sanded and painted would devalue the car more than just leaving it as is, right?

i'd be pissed like you, would wait for a minute or two and just take off and get over it. i'd feel bad about the heavy guy tho so that would actually make it easier to get over. fat people are human too. i too don't like parking in public as i end up with dings ($150 so far spent undinging) but hey it's something you just do and live with. the thing i am paranoid about is someone keying my **** up

I had the same thing happen to me over the holidays. My buddy and I went to Best Buy after work for some last minute shopping and found a Ford Excursion parked about a foot from my car when we got out of the store. I ended up having to put the convertible top down and climbing in to the car. Some kids who were admiring my car as we were walking out of the store started laughing when they saw me climbing in, which made me and my buddy laugh. That sort of helped lighten the mood and probably spared that bastard's Excursion from getting keyed.

One time I inattentively parked too close to the next parking space that someone thought I wanted to take 2 spaces and keep someone else to park next to me... Well I got a nasty little note on my windshield, and very glad that I escaped the keying punishment, Oofff... Now I just park as center to my spot as possioble and hope for the same of the next 2 cars around me.

I am the guy that parks far far away.........just to avoid the "way too close proximity issue", the anger/hostility and the anxiety of when and if a idiot does exactly this. Or I try to find other sports cars to park next to...the owners seems to share my attitude

Wow...

Hard to believe but most people are completely unware or can careless what kind of car you drive. To them car doesn't mean anything, just a box with 4 wheels.

For as careful as I am when I park, I'm still surprised at the number of people that refuse to drive their car somewhere out of fear that it will be damaged. If my 996 didn't go anywhere where it could be damaged, it probably wouldn't ever get driven.

I had a girlfriend who would lean her door on someones elses car and she thought it was not a big deal. As she was getting in of course, the door would be scraping up and down on the other car. She would not listen to me........it started many a fights.........

I own an F350 dually and only about two weeks after I got it, I went to the mall, parked far away from everyone so I wouldn't get to close to anyone elses cars, came back to the truck and it was keyed. I think anytime you park far away from other cars, regardless of your intentions, your a target. So from now on, I just park my car in the biggest spot available. If only small spots are available, I just park it there. I've already given up on keeping my car perfect. I do what I can to keep it as nice as possible, but the more I worry about it, the more stressed I get. I have to keep telling myself, it's just a car.

It's not only fat people who are a problem, it's fat cars. Most municipalities have a minimum width specified for parking spaces, but the average SUV pretty much fills the space from one line to the other.

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Thats because all you have to worry about is corn stalks denting your doors........j/k

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...and I'd trust the corn infinitely more than the hicks with the giant commuter trucks. I came out of the gas station one time to find one parked against my 996's front bumper. The old man driver didn't even know he did it until I made him move the vehicle back, then promptly shrugged it off as "no big deal". I laughed and told him that unfortunately, that's not how we'd be handling the problem, and he replied "Now I see how the other half lives." From that incident, I got $600 and the knowledge that some insurance companies won't even examine the damage if it's under $1k. Thanks for the help, Mr. Adjuster!

I'd like to admit something in this thread: I keyed someone's car (And I've never, ever once keyed a car and find it to be an absolutely abhorrent act that I'm not proud of) for the same thing. My girlfriend's old house in Philadelphia had a parking garage across the street that I often used when I would visit her. When I went there, I'd drive to the absolute top level and park in the most obscure, difficult to reach spot in a far corner. One morning I'm leaving to go to work and someone chose to park their beat-up Corolla within INCHES of my driver's side door, leaving their car within an entire foot of my alotted parking space. I had to crawl into the car through the passenger side door. There wasn't another car within 12-15 spots. I completely lost it and ran my key across his/her entire trunk lid in fury before leaving. I now feel better for having said this. I repeat, I've never, ever once done anything like this and still feel guilty about it.

Don't beat yourself up too badly over it. There are some people I know that would have thrown a road flare into it.

LOL

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How about this. Carry a disposable camera in your glove box. Take a picture of him, the ding, and his car next to yours as evidence. You can get the registered owner's address (probably him) from the DMV if you file a request. After you get the damage repaired, sue him in small claims court for the repair amount + costs using the photographs and receipt as evidence along with your own eyewitness account. Probably a lot of effort for about $50 - $100 repair, but it sure would teach him a lesson to be more careful.

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I guess he/she was lucky I didn't have a road flare in my possession...

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Or you could **** punch him and when he's on the floor grabbing what's left of his family jewels you offer him some help then deny it was you... but to be honest you didn't get a good look at the dude that caused his drive by **** punching.

I'm just glad to hear there's other Porsche owners as **** as me I must admit, my wife's as bad as I am! She'll park her G35 at the end of the lot and won't get out of the 996 until I park away from other cars! One idea I use is if I see a car w/no passengers, I'll park on their passenger side. That way I only have to worry about the car on my right side, and I can move over in the lane to give them enough room. Also, If I see a nice car parked off somewhere, I'll park beside it, thinking there's safety in numbers and they'll know I'll respect their property!

Years ago I was waiting for a parking space in a McDonalds lot. Just as the departing car cleared the space another car behind me swooped by and took the space. I confronted the a***ole, but he blew me off, no sense of decency whatsoever. I parked in another spot on the street and went in and got myself lunch, plus a milkshake for which I had another purpose. On my way back to my car I left the milkshake with the top off, inverted on his roof, streaming away in all directions. It was a hot day so the milkshake was melting and beginning to harden quite quickley. The most enjoyable milkshake I have ever had. Ice cream cones work well also.

I once saw a guy back into someone's car in the lot where I park the 997. I can see the lot from my office window. I put a note on the girls car and told her I saw the guy back into her car. She nailed him and thanked me for telling her. The guy didn't even bother to get out and see if he damaged the car!

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Oh it hurts to laugh right now, I am sick, but that was damn funny...........

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Don't feel bad--from what you describe, they clearly did this on purpose. Heck, if it was a beater car like you suggest, I'd have smashed--er, "slipped and fell" on the driver's side window so that it actually cost them some money...in my younger days, of course. And then I'd never park there ever again. Of course, when I was the kind of guy that would do something like that, I wasn't the kind of guy that acquired P-cars.

I watched a valet at a Ruth's Chris back a new Mercedes E-class into the car behind it. No damage, but it connected solidly. The valet pulled around to the front, and opened the door for the driver. Didn't say a word. I ran over to the driver and told him what happened.

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Doesn't matter what most people think. It's the few that act that is the problem.

I always park away from everyone else. The one thing you always have to consider when parking in a "crowd" of cars, that just gives bad-guys a place to hide. Parked out in the open leaves no place to hide. The part that kills me is when I do park away from all others, then some schmuck parks their "fast & the furious" or beater in the spot next to mine. Passing up numerous spaces to get to the one next to mine. I will most always retaliate to the people who screw up bad enough(door-dings, 2 inches from my door, etc). It makes me feel better. They started it...I just finished it. Thats what is wrong with most people, they NEED to be taught a lesson. I'm just the man for the job. I once took a guys tailgate off and put it in his bed because I couldn't even get into my trunk when I came back out to my beater. Sure I could have moved up and gotten in, but I'm sure he got the point when he returned. If he didn't, that's his problem for being an idiot. I don't regret anything I have ever done to any jack-***'s car. I have never damaged any car, just proved a lot of points...

Why dont you guys park in the middle of two parking slots, here in Sweden I always do that, that way Im keeping those ****** away from my car. Is that not an option over in the US?

Only if you want your car keyed!

I wish I would see someone key my car, oh lord help me save him haha...

I hear what you are saying but just think you can't get your hands on a gun and almost every American owns one and it still happens.

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Not to mention how they fully disregard the money that we're going to need to provide healthcare for them when their arteries are clogged, their cholesterol rips, their knees break down, they have a stroke, a heart attack....well, you get the idea.

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Yes, it IS an option for those of us that would like to see our cars get damaged. Do that for long and someone WILL mess with your car.

This thread is perfect evidence to why I don't drive my car daily (ironic about the why we should drive our cars daily thread). Someone dinged my tailgate on my Grand Cherokee last week. Albeit a small ding but I just looked at it and shrugged it off as it's my beater. I suppose it it really bothers me I might have the ding pulled but I'm not in a rush to do it by any means. I would have been much angrier had it been the P-car.

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Let's see, we hand the keys of a $55,000 Mercedes over to an 18 year old kid to park it for us. Who's really at fault here?

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I don't care where in the world you are, taking up two spaces is just downright rude and inconsiderate to others. It you are way out on the end of the lot by yourself, maybe it would be acceptable there, but when you do it in a lot where there are there are not lots of empty spaces, it is just asking for trouble. Even in Sweden I would think you would be asking for trouble if you took two spaces in the very front of a crowded parking lot.