There's a steak in my pants...

So, a good friend and I are sitting on reserve in Los Angeles (El Segundo) and decide to pop across the street to Ralphs' groceries to nab some steaks for the grill. I think they were Ribeyes'... We are to cross the road (Sepulveda, aka PCH) back to our apartment and my buddy suggests we just scoot across now...aka jaywalk. Sure, fine...and we disregard the "Cross at Intersections" signs and just run. 3 steps past the median my buddy sees the El Segundo Popo making a speedy U-turn to ticket us. Naturally, we aren't interested in paying a ticket, so we run for the Hacienda Hotel parking lot in our hopes of evading said Popo. Bad news: we are now trapped in a completely fenced-in parking lot with only 2 ways in/out. We duck, dodge, evade and scurry through the lot whilst the Popo is doing laps around the lot waiting to nab us as we exit...but he can only cover one gate at a time until backup arrives (another black-and-white and TWO motorcycle Popo) We time our exit and blast through the front gate and sprint for the hotel lobby...then hide amongst the guests for 15 minutes. Popo has the whole hotel complex surrounded, with each Popo cruising slowly around the complex in a wagon-train waiting... We remove our jackets, (off-duty, plain clothes) I pull off my glasses and untuck my shirt...and jam my ribeye down my pants. (2 old guys running with plastic grocery bags = easy targets) We time our exit with the exactness of achieving a lunar orbit... and shoot across another street to our apartment. Our roommates saw the whole thing from our balcony- we are now famous...all over a jaywalking infraction. The old adage must be true: it's not the crime itself...it's when you run. It was awesome. I saw a 996 in the parking lot we were trapped in...I had to laugh. Merry Christmas fellas- lol

Too funny! 4 police units over 2 guys jaywalking. Must be a slow crime day in SoCal. I gotta ask, just how old are you guys?

Yeah...I know. Too old to be dodging the cops...we're both airline captains. lol I'm 52, he's 46 I wish I had the video of that...hilarious.

Love this story! Glad you didn't get caught. They probably thought you were high profile criminals that have more to hide than a steak in your pocket. After all, only poor people and criminals walk in LA...

Yeah. It's a short walk from our apartment to the grocery store. We could have driven as I have a car out here in LA, but would take longer. We buy food over there all the time, but I don't typically jaywalk. However, I see dozens cross that street

Great story! Good thing the K9 cops were not chasing you; the steak in the pants would have given you up.

Too funny. How were the steaks?

Well done!! I think I stayed at the hotel for a week, 2 years ago. It's spitting distance from LAX.

Sadly my previous city I lived in did issue jaywalking citations to pedestrians. Great story, I wish there was some video footage with narration.

I know. The parking lot we were trapped in has signs saying it's under surveillance I'd pay for that video if true. None of my idiot roommates turned on a camera Derp

move to NYC, steak will cost 3x times but no jaywalking tickets ever

OK, since you're both airline pilots, I'll assume you're both former military. If so, which branch? Also, Google Earth is an amazing thing. I had to go look. Looks like the hotel parking lot where you guys evaded to is a two-tier affair with lots of bushes and trees. I can just imagine two 50 year old guys dodging around in there. I see a couple of apartment buildings to the west across Indiana, I assume that was the safe house? If you guys were military pilots, I guess that SERE training finally paid off. The cops had no chance of catching you guys, and even if they had, with that training, they never would've gotten anything out of you (other than name, rank & serial number).

LOL Yep. That's exactly the scene of the crime. Our advantage was that we stayed in the upper tier, so we had a visual advantage over him down below on Indiana Ave. Turns out, the motorcycle cops were able to get under the gate arm into the lower level. Fortunately, we were on our way to the lobby when they got under the gate. Yes, "Stable One" is an apartment right behind it on Indiana. Nice detective work. Lol

Nice work ! El Segundo motorcycle cops are ruthless! I lived in MB for 10 years & worked in El Segundo (The Mayberry of LA co.) @ Pelican Parts. Had to set my cruise control on the low speedlimit while in EL Seg.

so many funny parts... the use of "whilst" and Popo in the same sentence... classic.

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........ And the steaks too.

Some scenes: The front entrance we initially ran through...looking back over Sepulveda at Ralphs The fence Upper level lot looking down at lower lot: Lobby/foyer hideaway for 15 minutes "Stable One" (destination) The "Perp": Suck it, Popo! lol

Great post, loved your descriptions. BTW, I read the title as "There's a STREAK in my pants" which gives it a very different meaning.

You know, the Police really didnt have a case until you posted your confession. If you were never signaled to stop by the Officer, there was no evading. Maybe you should post a sat view of the scene with a diagram?

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Yeah...I should go turn myself in.

Don't, you'll get the chair!

Now we know why planes land at the wrong airport.

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While I'm new here in the Porsche boards, I'm not young, naive, or intimidated. I'm here to share experience, have a few laughs, and explore our common interest. I think that's extraordinarily misplaced. If it was a "joke", it sucked. Unless you are working as a commercial pilot for hire or airline pilot in the National Airspace System, you have no f'ing idea why airports are overflown. Jackasses overfly airports when all their gear is working, idiots overfly them when they don't know where they are, equipment failure explains the rest. Yeah, jaywalking...that explains it. Who needs the NTSB ? LOL wow Carry on-

TS - I think he was just joking. Thanks very much for sharing your story - it's easy to tell you brought a lot of laughs to a bunch of guys. Personally, it brought back memories of port calls with my squadron buddies and running from the local authorities to keep from being put in hack. I guess aviators are all the same. Now, if you want to see something really funny, look up what happens when somebody lands on the wrong aircraft carrier. Luckily it never happened to me!

You still didn't tell us, if the steaks were any good...

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TS, you and your bro are some serious rebels...LOL J/K, that was a pretty funny story. I probably would have just relented and taken the ticket.

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Captain, methinks you are being very sensitive. It's funny when pilots run around with steakpants, but not when: A massive Boeing 747 Dreamlifter cargo plane that landed at the wrong airport late Wednesday safely took off from that airport shortly after 2 p.m. ET on Thursday. There initially had been concerns that the mistaken airfield's short runway could make it difficult for the aircraft to leave. The Dreamlifter ended up at the small Colonel James Jabara Airport Wednesday night in an apparent mistake. The flight, which departed from New York JFK, was supposed to fly to the McConnell Air Force Base but instead landed about nine miles away at Jabara As far as your job being difficult because of the government, I can relate. My kids don't think I am funny either.

KK - what the hell is up with your Avatar? Nice homage to Gator! Me likey!

seems like a FB or OT kinda story.

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He said there was a 996 in the parking lot.

I am glad to hear that you risked life, limb, and incarceration for some real, actual Red Meat. Not chicken, tofu, or one of those skim-milk half-caff double latte Mocha Frappucino kinda deals. Because while I recognize the glory that is ribeye, there is no soy product in the world worthy of taking it on the lam from Five-O. I'm just sayin'...

cool story bro...

Sorry for my snarky post...I'm a getting some VERY bad mojo from my dealer I just bought the 996 from-and I'm pissed. My apologies. Let's just say that in two (2) follow-up service visits that these jackasses have corked up the car twice. Most recently, the rear camber bolts were left finger-tight so my wife went sideways on the freeway. Homie is grumpy...hard to see humor. Sorry about that... I'm a humor and sarcasm fan normally. It's all about the beef. If I was meant to eat tofu, I'd have a cartilege smile. I have the Feds monitoring my weight, blood pressure, eyesight, hearing, color vision....and most recently- my BMI. All I need is the "compass monkeys" to show up from all these wrong airport landings...ugh There's some good news.... lol BTW- the steak was awesome...tasted like chubracabra. lol

cool dude

TS, if you need work done on the car hit up McIlvain motors. Call Scott, he will be able to handle your 996.

^^ yeah thanks I found his shop but he wasn't there in the middle of the day, so I wasn't sure about that. I was able to get a buddy who race preps M3's to get it properly aligned. He said the right rear wheel was over and inch toed out with the bolts on both rears finger tight. Not inspiring confidence in service after the sale.

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Sheesh - As a commercial pilot, I can relate. Being constantly under a microscope, cameras, recorders, etc. (by the company and the Feds) has taken the joy out of the job. I used to enthusiastically recommend a career in aviation to those interested in becoming a pilot. Not so much anymore. Nice escape..!

Truth^^^

Hoping this avatar time for my wife will cause her to complain less about P-car. She had some pro photos taken. I might rotate them. Together @15 years. She gets better, I feel older. Thanks for compliment. She will be pleased.

That's your wife...seriously?? A least NOW it makes perfect sense why you never drive your car..if my wife looked like that, I'd never leave the house either...

Yes indeed she is. Shes more than I deserve.

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Are you also saving her for the next guy? J/k. A cheap shot I know. Shame on me. But damn if you let your wife drive your car, all the dudes will be hitting on her with that combo for sure. I'd be concerned...