996- tired of this complicated alarm and locking system!

Yeah, this 02 996 porsche system of locking and alarms is plain stupid! The same bastid who designed my 87 911 heat/ac must have been moved to the 996 alarm department. I just wanna click the remote to lock or unlock the doors, or use the keys. No more alarm or auto lock, etc. To heck with that rubbish about so many seconds to get the key in the ignition, or inside monitoring, etc. It's all Teutonic useless tech. Some dithering space cadet teenager must have come up with the idea, thinking his fantasy-land ideas would be cool -- in between his PlayStation, bmx bicycles/skateboarding, and Mortal Kombat games. How do I totally disable this forked alarm! I just want lock and unlock. I'm willing to sacrifice the alarm, because in the life of this car, I have been the only one whom this alarm has deterred! Crazy. No, I don't want to read the manual. No, I don't want to go to the dealer to prolong the wait period for the alarm sound. I just want to press the remote button or use the key, and I want BOTH doors to unlock. I'll let my insurance company deal with the consequences, or utilize my concealed carry license. Anyone?

The alarm in my 996 worked just the way that you've described. It did only give 10 seconds to get the key in the ignition, but everything else was as you describe. One click locked or unlocked both doors. Simple.

Nope, not good enough. I don't want a timed interval. And nope, there is some zany double or single clicking combo that has different consequences... And I don't want any of that. I would please like someone to tell me how to totally disable the system Don't need opinions on whether I'm stupid or how simple the locking works. The fact that I am writing this request shows the level of frustrations I have had with my car. Done with it.

Ah, the dreaded alarm system.

I hate the fact that - even without locking the doors - the alarms arms itself after x amount t off seconds. Every time I refuel the car I get caught out.... And looked at...

Guess that's one good thing the 99' has going for it.

Quotes source post: 12542669

Not the way mine works. Only re-arms if I use remote to unlock and don't physically open frunk, doors, engine lid.

Some aftermarket ECU tuners can disable the immobilizer check such as Pedro's Garage. They offer this service but not sure if it's worth it to you to pay ~$500. Best thing is to get aftermarket reflash service to add a bit of performance and revised throttle mapping along with the alarm bypass. Then the hit doesn't seem as great IMO.

Quotes source post: 12542759

+1

no issues with my 03 4S

Thanks for the info on Pedro's. Yes, it seems a real waste of $500 to get what every Japanese economy car has -- userfriendliness. I would bet the instigator of the locking-alarm system was truly a teenage nerdnik who went to some Harvard-equivalent but who had no real experience in owning numerous daily drivers, and he wowed his superiors with tech garbage. Easy for the ignorant to be wowed by techie talk, and in an effort not to appear ignorant, the old guys nod their heads. Any other suggestions? I really liked my CCL option to replace the alarm... (Concealed Carry License)

So the working theory is that a teenage kid going to an Ivy-league-equivalent university - yet hails from a modest family and is thus not fortunate enough to own multiple high-end cars of his own (student loans? scholarships? We'll never know...) - cooked up the whole immobilizer scheme to brown-nose his professors, who, in spite of teaching at a world-renowned university, couldn't understand the intricacies of an alarm that turns on after a set period of time. Porsche was so blown away by this Rube Goldberg extravaganza that they decided to install it in every 996. Makes sense. Maybe they tested it out on the same sound stage where they faked the moon landings - and once it checked out, a pair of "grays" flew it to Stuttgart in their flying saucer, which is normally parked at Area 51 but was retrieved by the valet (Elvis). Coincidentally, "No, I don't want to read the manual. No, I don't want to go to the dealer to prolong the wait period for the alarm sound." doesn't sound all that different from "...in an effort not to appear ignorant, the old guys nod their heads." I'll email Stephen Hawking and see if he has time to study the immobilizer for us.

[QUOTE=5CHN3LL;12543591]So the working theory is that a teenage kid going to an Ivy-league-equivalent university - but hails from a modest family and is thus not fortunate enough to own multiple high-end cars of his own (student loans? scholarships? We'll never know...) - cooked up the whole immobilizer scheme to brown-nose his professors, who, in spite of teaching at a world-renowned university, couldn't understand the intricacies of an alarm that turns on after a set period of time. Porsche was so blown away that they decided to install it in every 996. Makes sense. [/QUOTE Nowwaiddaminnit. That's a fair bit of hyperbole on your part, as you let your own imagination take over the scenario and kinda "Geraldo/FOX news" me (a new verb), what with the middle class blah blah, etc. BTW, were you the author of the Dreaded threads that have popped up? Quite entertaining.

Heh. Yes, I'm currently one of RL's resident a-holes. "Hyperbole" is the nicest compliment I've gotten in some time. Now, as far as running away with the origins of the immobilizer - you took the ball all the way down the field...I just helped get it across the line. Let's go find some cheerleaders.

Did someone say "Cheerleaders"?

Quotes source post: 12543633

Well, you are certainly doing a great job. And, to synopsize and misquote Trump, any reputation is better than being classified as mediocre.

Quotes source post: 12542567

Sell it!

Not to hijack a perfectly good rant thread, but i just bought my first Porsche and my 2003 996 C2 Cab doesnt seem to do any of these alsrm things. In fact, I am not sure it even has an alarm? Is it possible it didn't come with one?

Quotes source post: 12542669

Interesting - and strange. I recently started a thread about my alarm issues ( https://rennlist.com/forums/996-foru...o-upgrade.html ) and most of the responses seem to say that's really weird. Now I come to this thread, and it seems that a good part of what my alarm is doing is considered normal??? (By the way, yes, I searched - around a year ago - and then I posted my thread when I realized that newer 996s work better. And then a link to this thread popped up at the bottom of the page.) My alarm does have one other bad habit - it will set itself even if someone is sitting in the car (and then go off as soon as they move), even if the key is in the ignition. But what annoys me most is it setting itself when I am outside the car - same, apparently, as OscarTango. I want it on when I lock the car. If I don't lock the car, it's because I'm next to it, or in it, or under it. And then the last thing I want is the alarm going off when I open the door, reach in the window, etc. My best hypothesis re. how to solve this is to buy a newer alarm unit to replace the existing one under the seat. (I've found thaat a newer, but otherwise identical 996 does not do these things.) Some have suggested there is some way to change the settings or reprogram the alarm, but without providing details, unfortunately. And my local dealer and specialist don't seem to think there is a programming or setting solution - though I'd be happy to see them proved wrong!

Quotes source post: 13196236

Please let me know if you have success with putting in a new alarm system. Details.

Quotes source post: 12542759

+2 Never had my alarm go off. Never.

Interesting. I'm sure mine doesn't work this way. I can unlock the car and just let it sit without ever thinking twice and alarm never goes off.

The door sensor could be bad? Alarm wont recognize that the door has been opened and arms automaticly after 10sec. I would get the sensors/switches checked first.

Quotes source post: 13196928

Same here. I read these alarm threads with great fascination.

There are 2 things you can do as a workaround: 1. Disconnect the alarm horn. It is located near the firewall on the driver's side, near the battery area. 2. When locking the car with the key, turn it twice to de-activate the motion sensor. Good luck !

Quotes source post: 13197704

Speed, Thanks for the constructive advice. Otherwise, it's fascinating to see such fascination with my alarm problem.

FWIW, MY-2000 doesn't exhibit any of those problems.

If you are having to insert your key in the ignition quickly to prevent the alarm it means one of two things: A) There is something broken with your alarm system. B) You don't drive the car enough. The only time the key in the ignition part should be needed is if you've locked it (remote or key) and left it for an extended period (7 days?). You then have to use the key in the door to unlock as the remote receiver has been disabled. The answer to that is to simply drive it more which will cure a lot more than just having to test your reflexes against the alarm. If you are unlocking it with the remote and still have to get the key into the ignition, something is wrong. Get it fixed and the problem goes away. To the other guy with the gas station problems, yeah you need to get your system diagnosed too. If you aren't locking it then the alarm should not be arming.

Quotes source post: 13197942

You've inspired me to see if I can set it off now

Quotes source post: 13197942

No problem. Hope that you get the car fixed.

Per the owners manual (circa 2003) that I found on line: Unlocking the door with the key and opening the door will set the alarm off within 10 seconds I read that to mean that if the alarm is set with the remote, but not disarmed with the remote, if you use the key to open the door you have 10 seconds to place the key in the ignition or the alarm goes off?

Quotes source post: 13199142

Doesn't matter how it is armed, but yes. Amazing what you can find in the owner's manual huh?

Quotes source post: 13199328

Amazing indeed, but I don't think this is related to our issue. At least not to mine, and based on stasha's complaint about gas stations, probably not his either. What happens is I stop the car, get out (taking the key with me), don't lock the car, and fill it with gas. Then I open the door to grab my phone, or something like that, and the alarm goes off.

A question for all of you who's alarms don't work this way: What model year are your cars, and are they cabrios, targas, or coupes? (The alarms in the cabrios and targas, like mine (2002), are supposed to work differently.) And stasha, what year and body type is yours? Thanks!

I didn't read the whole thread but it sounds like you might have auto arm feature enabled. There are quite a few alarm options you can tailor via PIWIS or PST2 coding. You should really go to someone that has one of these to verify your settings first, just to make sure it isn't something as simple as a setting that's been changed.

I'm not sure whether this was already addressed in this thread, but in my case, my local dealer and local specialist both concluded they could not reprogram the alarm. I'd be very happy (and not very surprised) to learn that they are wrong, but that's all I am able to find out from them.

Quotes source post: 13199536

No, it relates to the OP's apparent issue. What you are experiencing (and him if his is acting as described without unlocking using the key) is a faulty system that needs to be diagnosed and fixed.

I concur. The system is broken. The alarm is armed (goes off when the door is opened) but the doors are not locked. There is no situation where that should happen. The only exception is when you open the door with the key. The door is unlocked but alarm still on.

Quotes source post: 13199628

Did you actually see them plug in a PIWIS/PST2 personally and see the screens? If there is a fault the scanner will be able to detect it. Also you should be able to see all the options on the screen too.

Nope, didn't see it. No mention of PIWIS or PST, they just said they were unable to find a way to reset or reprogram it to stop it from doing what I don't want it to do.

Quotes source post: 13199631

So if it's not a matter of resetting or reprogramming, but of fixing, well, where does one start? The best way is to let a dealer/specialist hook up a computer and look for error codes? Or ... ? (If it's faulty and they failed to recognize that so far, I fear they may need a bit of guidance ... :-( .)

Quotes source post: 13199910

I recommend you find someone that knows what they're doing. If you plug in a pst2 or Piwis, you will easily be able to see any alarm faults, option settings, and run a test as well. I've had this done on my alarm before.