car wont start, no electronics work, battery?

Hello, my car has been sitting for about 3.5 weeks only has about 600 miles on it... and I get home today and it wont start... the clock, etc. doesnt show up when you open the door, and I cant use the buttons to open the trunk or hood... the car doesnt even crank... is there anyway to open the hood manually? is the battery dead? what else could it be? thanks

In your manual it should show you how to temporarily "bridge" a battery charger into the electrical distrbution system at the fuse panel in the left side of the drivers footwell.

yeah.. but should the clock, and some other functions still work if it was just the battery? the car doesnt even crank... I tried making a bridge like in the manual using another car as my power source and still nothing.. any ideas? the closest dealer is 60 miles away

I do not know what you have tried to do. The red thing that you pull out in the fuse box and jump is just to operate the electric buttons. It is not to start or charge the car. Use it to open your front trunk so you can get to the battery and jump start or charge the battery. Jeff

Trickery... Suppose that before the battery died, as it obviously has, you had used the key "alarm" system to lock the doors (and by default the engine lid, the bonnet lid, and the fuel filler). Now you must "bridge" in the 12 volts to power these circuits, then use your key "alarm" button to unlock these ancillary functions, and then lift the lever to open the bonnet or engine lid. Oh, not so certain about this, but... My 01 C4 will disable/disconnect the power to all of these "ancillary" circuits if the car is left setting for five(??) days. Can't remember if the 99 does this or not but if it does then once you establish the "bridge" you will/may need to lock and unlock the driver's door so the system will re-power the ancillary circuits. My 99 sat in my brother's garage in Memphis for several months and the battery went dead. With the owners manual locked safely in the bonnet I had to "reason" all of this out for myself. Good luck.

I tried using that to open the trunk/hood but neither button worked... Is it ok if I use my other car as a powersource rather than a seperate battery like in the manual? Even if the batter was dead, the clock should still come on and the car should crank right?

"Even if the batter was dead, the clock should come on and the car should crank right?" I don't know, the fuse panel bridging procedure may/probably only power(,s) the burglary alarm circuits to enable you to get into the engine compartment where the real Battery jumping capacity, high current, terminals are. Or into the battery compartment under the bonnet, but it's not as safe to jumper it there. Thinking about it, I doubt if there is any wiring at the fuse panel with a high enough current carrying capacity to supply the starter without igniting the wiring harness. So the bridging capability is likely only there to power the burglary allarm circuits, thereby allowing you, in turn, to get to the engine compartment "high current" voltage terminals.

Try this: 1. Lock the car with the key (not the remote the actual key). 2. Wait about 5 minutes then unlock the car with the key (again actual key). 3. Open the door and see if the instrument panel lights up. 4. Tell us what happened...

Thanks for all the replies, I tried Loren's suggestion and nothing happened. I am not sure what is going on but like I said, the windows dont move when I open/shut the door so I cant close them all the way, the instrument cluster/ trip comp doesnt light up when I open the door, the car doesnt start, and I have no way to open the trunk/ hood (I tried the method in the manual) I guess I will just have to have the dealer come tow it tommorow... thanks anyways

Or this: Bridge in the 12 volt source to the driver footwell fuse panel. Be sure the negative side of your external source is connected to a really good ground. Lock and unlock the driver's door using the key directly just as Loren said. Now use the key's burglary alarm button (key itself has a good battery? You're SURE?) to unlock the doors, and the bonnet, engine lid, and fuel filler. If I were a betting man, not a peaceable one, I would bet that the bridged 12 volts will not operate ANYTHING but the burglary alarm lock/unlock circuits. So now you must: Charge the battery. or. Jumper in another battery at the Porsche battery terminals or at the terminals provided for this circumstance within the engine compartment and start the car. and then. Charge the battery.

If the battery is totally dead then there will be NO power to anything in the car, not the clock, not the alarm, not the power windows.... You are supposed to use the bridge system with another battery (either in or out of another vehicle) just to allow you to access the bonnet. Once in the bonnet you can access your battery and jump start the car. If the battery is kaput after 600 miles the dealer should replace it under warranty...

Can't you open the bonnet using the cable release behind the passenger's side headlight, (as described in another current thread)? Then you'll have access to the battery.

UPDATE: we got the bonnet/ hood open and tried to jumpstart but the car would just crank once and then make a clicking noise.. so tommorow I guess its going to get towed to the dealer. Any idea what happened?

Get yourself a charger and try to charge the battery, now that you got to it. I think the clicking noise you hear is the battery running out of "juice" while attempting to crank your engine.

Absolutely! The clicking noise is the result of high resistance between the 12 volt jumpered in source and the starter load. I.E, you have a lousy set of jumper cables. Are you jumping across at the battery or at the teminals provided for jumping within the engine bay? If not you should definitely be using the engine bay terminals. When you turn the ignition key to the "start", starter, position a high current relay (solenoid) picks up and connects the (distant) voltage source to the starter, the starter requires (draws) so much current that the high resistance in the (long) jumper cables drops the voltage below the value needed to hold the relay closed, and so it opens the connection. The clicking noise you hear is the starter relay, solenoid, closing, opening, etc. Another part of the problem is that your battery is likely totally and completely discharged. So even without the starter load, current draw, your jumper cables already have a substantial level of current flowing into the discharged battery. Don't disconnect the discharged battery. If the engine should start with only the remote, jumpered, battery the alternator might go over-voltage and blow out ALL of your electronics modules. Leave the jumpers in place, at the terminals in the engine bay, and allow the remote system to rechareg your battery for up to an hour, and then try starting the car. Just in case the jumpered battery you're using is really a battery charger that "says" it can (sometimes) be used to "boost" a dead battery to start the car don't believe it. Your car battery is completely discharged, the charger WILL NOT have enough boost to overcome that.

thanks for the response, I did try jumping it from the engine bay terminals.. also, after the remote battery charger failed (it was borrowed from some random guy which Porsche Roadside sent) After it failed I used my other car as the power source and it still wouldnt start.. should I try different jumper cables? I think I am going to buy a good battery charger and try again..

Neal: Have you called Porsche Roadside? When I bought my last car I left it for a couple of weeks and it was dead - turned-out it was the auto shut-down to conserve battery and they walked me through something similar to what Loren suggested - but I also think it involved more than just opening the car with the key - isn't there also a procedure when you put it in the ignition. I'd look in my manual but I've not got it handy. Sorry if this isn't applicable and I'm talking ****.

Yep, I tried what Loren suggested.. I looked in the manual and couldnt find anything about a "auto shut down" but this does make sense as the car was only sitting for about 3 weeks.. I did call Porsche Roadside and they sent some random guy with a batterypack jump starter which enabled me to open the hood/trunk but we still werent able to jump start the car... we then tried to jumpstart the car using his car as the powersource but still no luck.. what WWest said sounds like what has happened, even though I dont understand how the battery could drain so quickly when it is new and this has never happened to me with any of my other cars which sat for a few weeks... I would like to remove the battery and have it charged except now I have no way to open the trunk since I no longer have that batterypack jump starter to open it with... (I had to close everything since it started raining) thanks again for all the responses, this is really frustrating

Here is the "official" procedure from my MY99 Owners Manual:

I dont think that is my problem because the car wasnt locked at all during the 3 weeks it was driven and the ignition key stayed in it what a pain...

Really unique and little known Porsche 996 FEATURE. DEAD battery. Walk out to your 996, step in and turn on the radio with the ignition key in your pocket.

lol...speaking of this thread, i just find it funny because i had this same problem a few months ago when I had a check engine light. to make a long story short, we purposely locked the car with power doorlocks prior to disconnecting the battery for security reasons. I was so panicked when I later discovered the hood also gets locked when the power door locks are engaged that even using the key on the door was useless. We were so scared it was getting late and dark on the street I was going to rip the whole door side out to unlatch the hood lock or break it off just to get the battery connected. Good thing I read the manual before that and found the bridge in the back. But the problem was still that since the battery was connected, the bridge had not enough juice to power the doorlocks. In the end I had to use two jumpers at once that we got just to give enough gauge on the wire to pass all the juice from another car to the Porsche. This is such a nightmare I said I will never let that battery go drain with the car locked with the central locking sys.