Distracted Driver

I need some advice from my Pcar brothers. I have always been a fast driver and owned cars from early RX7s to 540s to my 996. I love them all and drive them hard all the time. (NO Tix and NO accidents)...My daughter on the other hand has 4 accidents, 3 speeding tickets, a careless driving tix and a blowing through a stop sign tix....she's 22 with a black Jetta.....I pay $4k/year for ins for her ....what would you guys recommend?

get her married off so someone else can pay

Have to say I agree with Jim, but if you are serious about making her a "less" distracted driver, and I see you are in NJ, maybe you should sign her up for a driving school through skip barber at lime rock park in CT. Best of luck

+1 take her to teen driving school and/or confiscate the cell phone!

dont take what i'm going to say personally (i have a cousin and she's just like your daughter..cept we don't let her drive), but some women (as i'm sure some men are..my buddy's like that too) are just easily distracted or just a bit airheaded when it comes to tasks of physical/mental conscentration, in this case driving. Send her to a driving skool, take a way the cell phone, see if there's an improvement, but some people are just lousy drivers and at some point you have to just cut your loss, put the 4K your spending on her insurence into retirement, a supercharger for your 996 or something nice for the wife and tell her to take the bus. Its not fair to other drivers she hits, and its not fair to you to have to keep paying money out the *** (i mean, unless you enjoy it). as for marying her off, i think jimq may be on to something. All my cars are under a fleet policy so as long as she doesn't get into any more fenderbenders, she can get all the speeding tickets she wants...heck lets do this Hindu style: i will trade you 3 Miatas and a Maytag Dryer for your daughter's hand in marriage.

I own an insurance agency and have to say that is dirt cheap considering her driving record. I concur with the other forum posters----lose the cell & make her take a remedial driving class. Her record speaks for itself. I love when parents say that its not their kids fault, bad place bad time. Hopefully you realize that the ultimate responsibility falls back on you since you are the one with the assets to lose, not her.

ninetynine996, there need to be some consequences for behavior like that. if daddy keeps footing the bill and enabling this its bad for her and you. not to mention the obvious that someone could get seriously hurt here. safety and responsibilty come with awareness.

Uhhmmmm.....Well alrighty then. I think you should by here a pair of ROLLERSKATES !!!

and I think you should learn how to spell!

She's 22 and you're still paying insurance!!!!! I think it's time to cut the chord! Let her foot the bill...in fact, have her tape the bill to the dashboard, put a copy of it in the vanity mirror and take a pic of it with the cell phone and make that her phone's screen saver! Just making her responsible for her own actions should do the trick. C'mon...22 and you're still paying the bills! Unless she's in med school and you're getting paid back after she becomes a doctor, paying her insurance should have stopped at least 4 years ago!

I have three daughters....bought each one a car when they hit 18....not one of them ever took an interest in maintaining the cars, and all three had at least one accident. I'm a "garage guy", so I showed them all the necessary how-to of maintenance. I fixed two of the cars, replaced one engine when she literally burned thru the valves due to no oil and water in the car, bought another when the wreck was someone else's fault...but that car ended up being abandoned on the freeway and allowed to be taken over by the tow company for the towing fee. How far does a guy have to go? How far is a guy willing to go? when is too much finally enough? I finally had it...and pulled the plug. No more cars. You wreck it or it dies from lack of maintenance, sell it for a canoe anchor, and you buy the next one. You have to realize that although you love your daughter and want to provide for her, and a car is a major factor in a modern day girls life....but as long as she keeps up the behavior it is readily apparent that she's not getting the message, and has no intention of getting the message. The message is..."daddy will come thru if I get into trouble". If you don't want to pull the rug out immediately....you can fire the warning shot over the bow......Next ticket, wreck, or incident...and the car goes. But of course there's the issue that if she has no transportation, it means that you have to get her here and there....so a personal "convenience" issue enters the equation too. How would you get around that issue? Are you willing to take on that issue? But the way it's going, you're as much of an enabler as I was. I sat down and figured that over time, I ended up spending about $24K in cars and repairs. In retrospect, I can't imagine why I didn't get my head out of my butt sooner....but divorce has a way of laying a guilt trip on a dad...and you end up trying to buy affection. Believe me...it doesn't work. There's no respect there....it's all expectation on their part with no reciprocation...and no sense of appreciation.

Gratitude always turn into Expectation. I cut people off right when I notice. Like TBH996 stated, have your daughter foot her own insurance bill. Guarantee that she will be more 'aware' when she is driving. At the very least she will not be able to pay the cell phone bill anymore.

I think every new driver should have a mandatory trip to the morgue for a day.

Thanks guys...I appreciate the help....driving school is the way to go I think....limiting distractions in the car (IPOD, cell use etc) might also help....she's going to be a college grad this fall and already has several job offers. Cutting the chord and making her pay all expenses will be much easier when she has a real job. No marriage proposals on the horizon

she's 22. make her take some responsibility for these issues: she should pay for her own insurance. when she takes it in the wallet, she will learn to focus out of monetary necessity. as long as you pay, she doesn't really have any incentive to change her behavior. i know she's in college and it's tough, but i had to do it (my insurance went up to $475 a month) and it worked; i slowed down. if she can't afford the whole thing, make her pay some fraction (but it MUST be enough to hurt a little).

It stops being funny at the funeral. I'm with the guys who are telling you to play hardball. Driving is a privilege, not a right. Assuming your name is on the ownership, I'd yank the keys at this point. She might hate you, but she'll be alive to do it. (Speaking here as someone with a 23 year old daughter who is a superb driver, a 21 year old son who flunked his driving test twice and now happily takes the subway, and a 16 year old who needs to prove he can responsibly handle a riding mower before he gets within ten feet of car keys).

NinteyNine996: I mean..there's also the crazy mafia rich russian way to do it. Kid i know has a dad in russia and the way his son drives its only a matter of time before he rolls his car on some backroad rallying, so the dad called the shop and had them put in a full cage. His daily driver has no A/C , no radio, a rally cage and bucket seat so if he takes it thru a fence, all it costs is money. I think it would be pretty gangster to have a 22 year old driving a rally jetta do eet!

when I finished high school they way it worked in my house was that my parents bought me cars but I was responsible for gas and insurance. that get's your attention very quickly. best thing they could have done.

Give her your car. There's less chance that she'll get caught.

Some of your suggestions are "Old School". Let me relate my experience, "Very Old School". Turn 16, can't drive dad's car until I can pay for my share of the insurance. Found part time job at grocery to cover expenses. Turned 18, and left for college. Dad is willing to co-sign a loan for a used car. All expenses are mine. Found better part time job to cover new expenses and car payment. All of this estblished a very good work and responsibility ethic that I thank my parents for. Did I have a few accidents, yes. But the cost of the repairs and the increae of insurance rates were my responsibility. Perhpas I was lucky. My parents didn't have the money to provide these things to me. They'd help were they could, but it was my responsibility. Life long lessons learned early.... Cheers,

^ doesn't work with chicks..they get away with murder. man i hope i have a son. simpsons quote: "forget it bart, you're mine until your 18, then when your 17, i'll know the end is near so i'm gonna work you even harder!"

I read this thread and there was very little that I thought I could add to the good things that had already been written. The more I thought about it, the more something bothered me and it seems (to me) to be the root of the problem. To me this is about respect. If your daughter respected you then she wouldn't do the things she does. She would see the expense, time, and inconvenience that goes into tidying up after her messes and she wouldn't do it. Her driving record is beyond carelessness and beyond bad driving. To me the fact that she continues to drive badly and get into accidents isn't about distracted driving, or about being a bad driver. It's about not caring and being disrepectful. If she cared and was respectful she simply wouldn't do any of the things that she does. She would pay more attention while driving, she would understand the consequences of her actions and she would act responsibly. I'm sorry to say it, but this is another example of the great disease of our fellow americans - they don't give a damn about others and do not want to accept the consequences of their actions. Disrespect. Truely sad. You might want to ask her if she cares about you and those around her. If she says yes, then ask her why she does what she does. She needs to realize that a car is a dangerous object and can kill. Her actions can and may (if she continues her current course) kill her or someone else. I think it's about time that she started to see the consequences of her actions. She might then start to realize that if she does X, then she will have Y happen to her. Getting away without a consequence is perpetuating the problem.

+1 Well stated, I agree 100% You, Pops have taught your daughter at least two things, careless driving habits and being disrespectful in general. Paybacks are a "BITCH" as you are finding out. Hope things improve in the future for you both.

I will have to ultimately agree with the others. Bringing the kid(s) to teen driving school and confiscating the cell phone only remedies the symptom, NOT the problem. I agree the underlying problem tends to be lack of respect and responsibility.

well in north america you can't backhand your kids like we get in other countries...so unless you're the master of the guilt trip..what do think can be done? diddly squat. kids are getting craftier and the punishments are getting less severe. in any case, i think that's a bit unfair to the original poster. so her daughter's airheaded and her driving manners are reminescent of paris hilton....guess whose been made the hero of this dysfunctional generation? yep: paris hilton, that idiot tom green, etc etc. Being a careless and indifferent is what we all love...not suprised people emulate it. he could have raised the best kid in the world, but once teenagerhood (is that a word) rolls around and the hormones and the peer group and all that shiznit start flying...all goes out the window. i'm sure i was a total douche in my teen years..i can only hope i've leveled out by now. thats all i'm saying on this issue. its late and there's beer with my name on it. good night and have a good weekend.

I must say I agree with the marriage thing. I'm one year older, still in college and have a great paying job. Please send pics of your daughter to me and we will come to some sort of an agreement. Thank you.