New Dead Battery Thread - But with Additional Plot Twists

For reason Id rather not go into, my 2006 Cayman S has been sitting in the driveway for about three years undriven. The battery is completely dead. I need to obviously resolve this before I can get the car to the mechanic for a bunch of work, but I have several issues I need to tackle in a certain order. 1. The car is parked outside so if I use the key to open the driver's door, the glass will not "zip" down half an inch like normal. I should be able to pull the door open with a good tug to get past the rubber seals, but the door will then be impossible to close again until I get proper power to the car so the glass will recede and raise again when the door closes. Because the car is parked outside I didn't want to tackle this and fail subsequent steps because then Id have an unlocked Porsche in the driveway with a door I cannot shut. 2. Before I do anything I really need to get the car in the garage so I can tackle things under a roof and muck around without worrying that the car will get rained in, critters will move in, or it gets stolen. So let's say I open the driver's door now as it's parked in the driveway. If I put the key in the ignition will that unlock the steering column completely (even with a totally dead as nails battery ) so I move the wheel freely and can push the car backwards, then into one of my garage stalls? I dont want to open the car door, get inside, put the key in the ignition, then have a locked steering column that makes the situation even worse because now the door is open to the outside elements. 3. If the steering column will move freely with a key in the ignition (and Im sure the keys have lost their power/chip/ battery /fob circuity since they haven't been used in three years either -- will this hinder wheel movement?), I should be able to get some muscle to push the car in the garage. Once in the garage, I doubt the footwell trickle charger, or fuse box trick will work to pop the frunk because the battery is nothing but a paper weight at this point. But I cannot pull the front driver's wheel off if I jack up the car (I have separate jacks from the car) because the locking nut for one of the lugs is in the damn frunk! How am I gonna get the wheel off to then pull the fender liner off to pull the secret tab to unlock the frunk so I can then at least swap a battery out and start getting some power to the car? I think this is why I kept dreading this problem because it's one comedy of errors and dead-end after another. But Im getting a new roof put on the house next week and the car has to get moved or it will get shelled with shingles and nails. If I can just get the car into the garage that will buy me some time and latitude for everything else, but if ya'll smart folks can devise a good strategy to get me there and then ultimately with frunk access so I can swap in a new battery that would be great. I know Im gonna have to get the car towed to my mechanic because Im sure the gas is too old to combust and the tank will need to be sucked out, but it will be far more smooth sailing once I can actually get the car to the shop where it can get properly worked on and back on the road. I have too many cars, not enough garage space, and not enough free time. It's my fault. But...I do need to get out of this self-induced pickle.

You might check with some local tow companies.. they often have dollies they can put under the wheels to move cars where the wheels won't turn. You'd need 4 and a floor jack to get it high enough to slide them under the wheels. That's assuming you're on pavement and there isn't a big ledge into your garage..

I think the steering column unlock requires a live battery . I don’t know for certain because I haven’t experienced it myself, but the success of the fusebox frunk opening is more related to providing enough power for the task. Oftentimes, it doesn’t work because not enough power is being applied. I think if I were in your shoes, I would try the fusebox frunk opening with a real battery charger (not a trickle charger or jump box). If that doesn’t work, then run to harbor freight and buy four car dolly ’s to put under the tires and push the car into the garage. preferably this would all be done on a day with no rain in the forecast. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.

Yeah Ive thought about self-lifting dollies . My worry is will they roll on driveway concrete and be able to "jump" a couple expansion joints in the driveway?? The car is parked one spot to the left of the garage door. I could try to push it directly right, then in. Or try pushing back and over, and then in. The driveway does have a slight slope backwards, but it's not atrocious. As long as the tires didn't squirt off the Dollies Id probably be okay. I already have the okay from the roofing company to enlist their help to push it so I would have several bodies on the task so it doesn't go wonky. I do have a NOCO battery charger/ booster so I could try to get lucky. Which fuse do I connect to? Im assume we're talking driver footwell.

There is a red plastic pullout in the fuse box. It's about 1/4 of the way down from the top, and almost on center. Pull it out until you see metal on it. That's where you connect the positive terminal of whatever you're using to power the lock assembly. Use an unpainted surface on the door jam for the negative terminal. Many of the small battery jump packs will not energize if they don't see some voltage at the point they're connected to. Some of them have an override for that allowing you to use it for this purpose. Some don't. What works great is another battery. I keep a small motorcycle battery on a maintenance charger with a small set of jumper cables just for this purpose. I've only had to use it once, but it worked great when my jump-pack wouldn't do diddly-squat. It's also rumored that if it is connected and pulling the switch in the door sill doesn't work, sometimes using the unlock button on the key will work. Worth a try.

Honestly, I would not try to start a car that's been sitting for 3 years. At least not without flushing the gas tank, as you note. I'd just tow it straight to the shop and let them deal with it.

I second this...the fuel will have likely separated and will foul a lot of the internals once ignited which could be the begininngs of a whole other set of $$$$$ issues.

Do NOT put the key in the ignition with a dead battery ! The key will become locked in the ignition, and you won't be able to remove it or turn it. Your best bet is Noah Fect's suggestion. Alternatively, buy a new battery (H7 to H9; make sure it's fully charged before you leave the store) and use that to open the frunk using Deilenberg's method, then replace the battery . You can then put the key in the ignition to unlock the steering wheel and move it into your garage. Do not start the engine until the mechanic has checked everything out.

Also, make sure you connect the battery properly: red/+ cable to red/+ terminal, black/- cable to black/- terminal, or you'll magnify your problems considerably,

I have had a car put "into" a garage even when it was dead ( 1973 Corvette ). Granted, I could turn the wheel and such, but the tow truck driver did a phenomenal job of getting it inside without any issue. Once there, you can do the dolly trick if you wanted to get it better placed, but at least this gets you inside. Once inside, I'd try the jumper process to open the frunk. If that doesn't work, then lift the car and see if you can find the release cable even with the wheel on... at least lifted you can make some space, in theory. I agree, I think the biggest issue is going to be getting "past" the battery . Since it's dead, it may just pull at the charge from any jump pack or whatever, preventing you from using power to release the frunk at all. In that case, you may need to pull the fuse box, take the battery "off" the circuit there (remove the positive power connector on the fuse box, I think?), and then try the jump process with the battery disconnected that way. Again, assuming you can't get in via the mechanical release. I know it's too late, but in the future, NEVER let the battery die like this. I know, sometimes easier said than done, haha.

Phot of the car where it currently sits and where it needs to go (where the M3 is). So here's the tentative plan: 1. Buy some self-lifting wheel dollies and crank the car up on those while its sitting in the driveway 2. Get some muscle to push it back, then over, then into the garage. Before I attempt to do anything I really need the car in safe place under a roof where I dont have to worry about security or the weather and can take my time. My biggest concern in this dolly move is will the dolly wheels roll over the expansion cracks in the driveway, and then will the dollies roll over that rise in the driveway concrete where it meets the garage on the left side. It's about a good inch and a half. I will try to get the car to the right as much as possible when pushing in the garage, but Im a little worried the dolly wheels are gonna buck on the driveway joints and this garage bump and not want to move forward. I have never moved a car on dollies and certainly not on driveway concrete as opposed to smooth garage concrete. On the other hand, perhaps 3,000lb on the dollies is more than enough mass that as long as we get the car rolling, it should hop these cracks and bumps without much trouble? Let me know. 3. If I can get the dang car in the garage that's half the battle. Next is opening the door (the key will at least do that and unlock the car) and then getting into the frunk. I'll try using my trickle charger to the passenger footwell which I know won't work, then use my Noco and try to get some power to the frunk release lever on the door sill. If that works (Im not optismistic) then we advance to Step 5. 4. If the frunk won't open with the fuse box method, I'll then use my floor jack to lift the left side of the car. But I cannot get that stupid rim off because the lug lock socket is in the frunk! Is there a bypass method to try to get to the pull tab without taking off the wheel? The wheel is straight so there's limited room in there. Im predicting this is the bottleneck Im gonna find myself in and will be unable to get to the pull tab to pop the frunk. If I dont put the key in the ignition (and I won't), I assume I cannot manually turn the front wheels to get more clearance to fiddle with the fender liner and access to the frunk cable? It's gonna be extremely tight. Jacking the front left side of the car should help a little but not a ton. I definitely do not want to turn the wheels and have them lock in place and then I cant roll the car properly if I put it back on the dollies . It will just make things all the more challenging. I need to keep the wheels straight until I get into the frunk. 5. If I can get the frunk open, I'll pull the battery and install a new one. That will at least give me some standby power to properly shut the driver door again with the window glass scooting down and back up on close. I don't want to have the car towed to the mechanic with the driver door still "unshuttable" because the car has no power and the glass won't retract and zip up into the rubber seals like normal. Car needs to be fully closed again so that means somehow some way I gotta get into the frunk to change the battery myself. If I get this far, I will then have it towed to my mechanic without starting it. But the hurdles never stop. My driveway is very steep downward from the road and Im not sure a flatbed truck can get down my driveway without scraping/teeter-tottering the axle. Do tow trucks typically have winches they can use? They could send a 75ft winch line down the driveway and pull it up to the street. Id put the car back on the dollies and roll it out. If they winched it (if this is even possible), could they use the tow hook with the car that screws into the front bumper? Should be secure enough to bear the weight of the car as it goes up a 50ft long 27 degree slope? Yeah, never letting the battery go dead again. I'm already resigning myself to a new set of tires because the existing ones are probably flat-spotted, probably new rotors and brakes, total fluids flushing, drain gas tank, probably need to have them clean the underside properly. I always kept checking inside the car through the windows and it seemed like it was holding together, (no pools of water on the floorboards or squirrel turds on the dash), but Im going to do some volunteer work to pay it forward if I don't have much damage or trouble from critters/mice etc that may have eaten the entire wiring loom. That's when things get expensive. I guess the good news is I haven't put a dime into the car in 4-5 years so when I amortize it out, its probably gonna get about the usual expense -- only this time I didnt drive it. I won't put the key ih the ignition or start the car. For now, I need a verdict on whether you think a set of dollies should handle those driveway/garage concerns. I gotta take this project one step at a time or it feels overwhelming. Baby steps.

Sounds like a decent plan. Once you have it in, you may still consider working on it, but I'll leave that up to you. That said, if you're going to drop it off to the shop anyway, why not just have them tow it as-is? Yes, they may drag the wheel but who cares? I've seen tons of cars get pulled onto a tow truck with locked wheels - it's not a big deal to those trucks. Anyway, if you still want to put it in the garage, what about filling the driveway cracks with some trimmed wood or something? Cut something to width/height and it should stay there? Or, can you replace the wheels on the dolly with larger ones? Small wheels fall in, large ones won't. For that matter, I have traversed similar grooves with my Harbor Freight jack ... they have decently large rollers on one side, at least... once you get that end over, then you can lower the car, turn the jack around, and then do it again. Just keep big rollers at an angle to the groove, which helps keep it from falling in at all. To be specific, I'm talking about the front roller on the left here: Two HF jacks and you should be good to go. Just be sure the car is stable on them before moving it around. OR use a single jack and twist the car into place (move the rear over the grooves, then the front)... of course then you have to push it up into the garage... and depending on the slope, that could be "fun". PDK or Manual? Can you put it in neutral to unlock the rear wheels without the battery? If so, you can jack the front again, and use the jack to let the front roll, while the rear rolls on the wheels.

Manual. Im gonna use these dollies :

Another two thumbs up for flat-bedding it directly to a shop. They can then get to the manual front hood release through the right side wheel well liner and put the battery on a slow charge. That'll bring the computer, etc up to life and allow access to the OBD II system and all the other gubbins that need to be taken care of. A tow company worth its salt can show up with GoJacks and make the job loading and unloading a breeze. It'd be easy to frack this up and I'm sure you'd rather have a working Porsche instead of a project.

I had my 987.2 battery blow up in a parking lot. Totally dead at that point, needless to say. I was able to open the frunk using jumper cables from my other car to the contact in the fuse box. In my case that was sufficient to open the frunk. Once I took out the exploded battery and put in a new one, I was able to drive the car home where I thoroughly sprayed the tray and surrounding areas with a mixture of baking soda and water from one of those pump bottles for spraying weeds. Rinsed out the baking soda solution and everything was back to normal. I think connecting an adequate 12V battery source at the fuse box could work to open the frunk.

Different scenario with an exploded battery vs a discharged battery . A battery that's exploded will not draw any current. There is no longer an intact circuit between + and - in the battery . A badly discharged battery still has a circuit between + and -, and that circuit would appear to the other battery as a very close to a short circuit, since the old battery would try to charge itself to the level of the jumper battery . That short circuit is going to rapidly discharge the battery used to jump with, and also quite possibly overheat and melt some of the wiring between the jump point hookup and the discharged battery . The wires going to the jump point in the footwell are perhaps 12 gauge. Max current - maybe 30Amps/12V. The discharged battery will be trying to suck all the electrons in the jumper battery through that 12 G wire.. probably around 100A. Not a good thing.

Its going to be more difficult than that because of the steepness of the driveway, lack of room at the bottom of the driveway for a flat bed truck to slide out the flat bed and also pull the car on it, etc. It's going to take some serious jujitsu and thinking. Im not even sure a tow truck can traverse down it without teetering the driveshaft. Almost no commercial trucks -- dump trucks, delivery trucks, box trucks, etc even attempt it. Its gonna have to get hauled to the mechanic one way or another so that's non-negotiable since I won't start the car on my own before it gets there, but getting the car in the garage buys me some time to work on this conundrum without the time and weather pressure. I may be able to get the frunk eventually open with the suggested remedies at which time I get swap in a new battery and get some standby power to the car to deal with windows and doors and do some basic assessment and cleaning inside. I have roofers and siding contractors at the house all next week and maybe part of the following week so my plate is full. Getting it in the garage so they can do their work buys be a ton of grace and affords me unlimited time to not rush anything as I assess the situation. When its time to haul the car to the mechanic, that protocol isn't gonna change -- but at least I can do it when its convenient and properly coordinated with the shop and not while Im scrambling. If I can get power back to the car myself, that means I can put the car in neutral and properly open and close the doors and dolly the car back to the driveway at some point -- to perhaps get it winched with the tow hook up the driveway. If I dont get power myself, Id have to reposition the car in the driveway and open the door with the window/seal/closure conundrum and put the car in neutral with a door I cant re-shut as it gets winched and towed to the mechanic. I do not want to tow it that way....too many things to go bad. At this point, step one is hoping the wheel dollies roll well enough to get it in the garage. In 99.9% sure the wheel lock nut is in the frunk, but I might get totally lucky if I somehow threw it in the glove box.

You could use big sheets of plywood under the car to roll the car over the expansion cracks.

Man, I would have simply done this process: 1 - Bought a new battery , H6, H7, or H8, depending on what you remember your car having previously. 2 - Opened the drivers door, and connected the new battery to the fuseblock jumper point, and popped the frunk. 3 - Replaced the dead battery with the new battery . 4 - Rolled down the windows, and then back up, to reset their memory points . 5 - Turned the ignition to ON, and looked to see how much fuel is in the tank. Less than 1/4 tank, I'd buy a couple 5 gallons fuel cans, and bring fresh fuel to mix in with what's in the tank. 6 - Connect a diagnostic tool to the OBD2 connector, and fire it up, inspecting the errors, and clearing them as needed. 7 - Gently drive around the block, scrubbing any brake rust away. 8 - Drive to whatever mechanic you're going to use for the repairs you need. Not sure why you turned a 20 minute battery swap into such an ordeal. It's the easiest, and quickest thing to do on a Cayman.

I had a discharged battery from accidentally leaving the key in the ignition overnight (that and, perhaps, my new head unit running whenever the key is inserted). I couldn't get the red tab in the fuse box to work. I tried a jump start kit on always-on mode, but still no luck. I thought about maybe hooking up 8 AA batteries in series, but that seemed a bit awkward. Instead, since I've had my center console apart several times to play with my Racing Numerics shifter, I yet again took apart the center console, accessed the wiring of the 10A always-on cigarette lighter there, and trickle charged the car for several hours until the battery came alive again. When the battery was alive , the car's internal circuits would fire up, drain enough charge, and the car would go back to dead; while this was cycling I was able to pop the frunk. That cigarette lighter is only 10A, so maybe you could use a 10A charger, which would be much faster and also not cause the cycling. Good luck! I think you can get a kit that is designed to fit the user-facing part of the cigarette lighter, which would be much easier. You could probably make a holder, but you'd want to make sure it didn't short circuit something. If you have something already that plugs in there and you want to sacrafice it, you coudl proably take it apart and repurpose it. The catch is that there is often a fuse built into it that might be only good for a few amps. Since you have a second car, you might be more successful that I at using the red tab in the fuse box and a pair of jumper cables to it. Theoretically, you don't need a whole lot of amerpage, since its a different circuit than the rest of the car. i.e.: when you're connected, you won't also be attempting to simultaneously charge the dead battery throught that connection.

Update: I was able to get my self jacking dollies under the car and at least get it pushed into the garage. Then got the courage to open the door and to my great surprise the car interior was pretty much exactly how I left it 4-5 years ago despite sitting outside. Zero moisture, no sagging headliner (it had been replaced once with Alcantara ), no weird smells, no acorns, no mice, no nothing. I actually couldn't believe it. I found one small spider and that was it. The door sills were filthy and so to many other gap areas, but once I get the car back I will attack everything with my steam cleaner and take the years off. Unfortunately the fuse box idea did not work. Because there is absolutely zero charge, my NOCO considered it a fault when hooking up. I was able to close the door however by carefully tucking the glass under the rubber door seals then butt bumping the door shut. Then had the tow truck come and pushed car back out to driveway on dollies , rotated it, then they loaded it and took it to mechanic It required some creative work to make it all happen but we got it done. I know Im gonna need new tires , discs and pads, and probably flushing of all the fluids and gas. We'll see if there are a million acorns under the car or not. I will let them figure out how to get to the battery .

Be great to hear when that bad boy is back on the road, and what it involved..

On the NOCO type of chargers, look for a small "Boost" button on the on the box or cable which will override the zero voltage fault.

Or use an actual battery, or a jumper car. That's the right way to do it, in order to get enough amps into the electrical system to pop the frunk. It's not a lot of power needed, but a battery charger wants to do one thing, and that's charge a battery. If it gets hooked up, and sees that the battery is too discharged, or there's too much resistance in the circuit, it will error out. An actual battery added to the circuit just provides its power, and you only need it to have the frunk button send a message to the BCM, which then sends a message to the frunk latch.